5 Signs I Might Be Avoiding a Difficult Conversation

I know how tempting it is to push difficult conversations aside. Sometimes I tell myself it’ll just work itself out, or maybe the other person will magically figure out what I’m feeling. But if I’m being honest with myself, there are some clear signs that I might be avoiding what needs to be said. 

Here are a few questions I’ve been asking myself lately: 

1. Am I replaying the same conversation in my head—over and over—but not actually, having it? 

I can picture it so clearly: what I’d say, what they’d respond, how I’d reply back… but it’s all happening in my mind, not in real life. 

2. Am I dropping little hints instead of saying directly what I want or need? 

 Maybe I’m hoping they’ll just pick up on it. But deep down, I know that hinting usually leads to misunderstandings. Besides do or would they even care about my want or need? 

3. Am I avoiding the person altogether, hoping the issue will just fade away or that they will change? 

 It feels easier in the short term, but the tension never really goes away, does it? 

4. Am I talking to other people about it, instead of the one person I actually need to speak with?  

Is this really helping?  Am I hoping it gets back to the person, and they magically change, and this conversation never has to happen? 

5. Am I avoiding any conversation with them so much that when I am with them, I just walk on eggshells, and my real feelings are not getting across? Are my interactions with them just surface so nothing important has to be said from my side? 

I guess I wondering if I should even bother anymore with them?  Do I need to even interact anymore with them or cut them off completely?   

Hmm why even bother?  

When I catch myself in these patterns, I get frustrated even more. Avoiding is human—and I am human after all. But I have learned my voice matters, its important. My feelings matter, they are important. Should I continue to let these thoughts and feelings about this person or issue live rent free inside my head any longer?  That is the big question, what do I do?  

What would you do here? How would you handle this situation? 

What I do when I start getting annoyed enough by whatever it is, I say ‘Stop this Liz, why are you allowing this person to continue to annoy you and only you are carrying these feelings?’  Then I usually make a growling noise and swear. After a few deep breaths, I ask myself: What would it look like to bring love, clarity, and courage into this conversation? What would it really look like?  I’m not saying it is easy to ask yourself this question but do it. Ask yourself this. 

When you feel ready, trust yourself to lean in with love. You might be surprised at the relief and freedom that come when your truth is spoken with kindness.